Category: Couples Therapy

March 23, 2017
DFI Blog - What to do Before You File for Divorce (1)

OK, you’ve Decided to Divorce. First, sit with the decision for a few days. Make sure you are not just very hurt and angry. If the decision is clear, a few more days won’t change that. You may have been thinking about this for a long time. I offer that there are things for you to do before you make the big announcement. Don’t declare your intentions yet and don’t file anything yet. In the meanwhile, BE NICE! Do your research before you act.

When you stack cannon balls, how you set the first row determines how the subsequent rows will look. So it is with divorce. What you do at the beginning shapes the course and shape of what is to come.

December 28, 2016
Divorce for the 21st Century

I hope you are as excited about our new offering of Divorce, Version 4.0 which offers a free upgrade from 3.0 last revised in 1952. While 3.0 was much better than the older version of leaving the folded up clothes outside of the teepee, the required resources to carry on a lifetime of avoiding each other were too burdensome.

Still, look how far we’ve come since Version 1.0, first launched by Henry the VIII. Most would agree that those beheadings and trials were costly and brutal.

In announcing his upcoming divorce a great guy I know asked what’s it mean when she said “ I don’t want to be divorced from you. I want to be divorced to you”?

September 29, 2016
DFI Blog - Start Softly & Be Gentle - How to Begin a Conversation

Start softly and be gentle. Sounds good, doesn’t it? Cue the Barry White music…on 3, 2, 1…

Just teasing. I am not talking about sex this time. Sorry.

This piece is about how to begin a conversation with someone you love when there is a complaint. First think about what you want to accomplish by bringing up this complaint. It should almost always be that you want something to change, but not at the expense of hurting your partner.

Starting softly sets the tone. Try it the next time you have a complaint. A gentle beginning might sound like, “Hey, Babe, is this a good time to talk? If it is, I would love to have a few minutes with you to work on something.”

May 20, 2015
DFI Blog - Wills & Trusts- Get Over It You are Going to Die

“Technology is the knack of so arranging the world that we do not experience it” Rollo May, The Cry for Myth

It is 8:00 p.m. My husband and I are settled in on the couch with the TV on. He is searching e-bay for who knows what on his Mac Book and I am scrolling through instagram on my smart phone. We are connected to so many devices and yet, we are obviously not connected to one another in this moment.

This isn’t a new revelation—the idea that technology is causing us to walk around like zombies as we live in a virtual world. We know it…and yet we stay glued to our screens. So what do we do? When is it time to power off? And can we use technology to connect with our partners? Here are some ideas…