Power Off (and On) to Empower Your Relationship
By Rebecca Moravec, LPC
“Technology is the knack of so arranging the world that we do not experience it” Rollo May, The Cry for Myth
It is 8:00 p.m. My husband and I are settled in on the couch with the TV on. He is searching e-bay for who knows what on his Mac Book and I am scrolling through instagram on my smart phone. We are connected to so many devices and yet, we are obviously not connected to one another in this moment.
This isn’t a new revelation—the idea that technology is causing us to walk around like zombies as we live in a virtual world. We know it…and yet we stay glued to our screens. So what do we do? When is it time to power off? And can we use technology to connect with our partners? Here are some ideas:
1.) Power off at meal times. Sharing a meal together is a great time to catch up on each others day. Put all devices away—sit at a table if you can—and tell each other the highs and lows of the day. It is important for you to know what is going on in your partners every day life!
2.) Power off when you get into bed. You don’t need to scroll through facebook or check your email that one last time. Put your devices away and spend some time cuddling….who knows where it might lead!
3.) Power off while you are watching a movie. Allow yourself to fully engage in a movie (or show) so that you aren’t asking your partner “what just happened? Who is that? Why did they do that?”
4.) Power off when you get home from work. Don’t walk in the door browsing emails from work or reading buzzfeed quizzes. Take 10 minutes to greet each other and connect.
5.) Power off on date night. Leave your phone at home – all of your apps will still be there when you get home!
1.) Power on to send a sweet (or steamy) text to your partner in the middle of the day (“Every positive thing you do in your relationship is foreplay- John Gottman)
2.) Power on to Pinterest and make a Pinterest board dedicated to your partner with funny and sweet things to share with them.
3.) Power on to send a love note on a site like Paperless Post
4.) Power on to send a cute photo of your kids, your pet, or yourself to let your sweetie know you miss them!
5.) Power on to call your partner to say “I love you” when you are apart. Yes…the phone still works for actual phone calls! (Queue Stevie Wonder music…)
Let’s embrace the world we live in and use our smart devices to be smart about connecting with our partners. I’m signing off to go cuddle…